Take Pride In ALL Your Facets!

There is a whole lotta talk these days about the evils of “masking”. There has also been an excessive spread of what that term means. It has grown from a psychological term that describes a high energy coping mechanism to a demonizing label for any attempt to encourage people to develop improved self control or mature response patterns. The ability to have more than one “persona” and to be able to switch between them as needed is a part of having a healthy nervous system and coping skills, not a betrayal or corruption(the void has nothing to do with this).  While there are more ways of managing these persona shifts than there are colors of murlocs in WoW, I want to share a small piece of my management system.

I recognized in my early 20’s that I had at least 2 very different versions of “me”. One was who I was when I was at work or school. The other was who I was with friends and on weekends. Neither was false, but the work persona was significantly more limited. Many a night was spent in dark rumination about self betrayals and other emo whinges (I was a serious goth so it was very in character). This was a serious NPC mentality.  I was limiting myself and my options because I was stuck in binary mode. 

“Am I this or this?” all while chewing the curtains as thoroughly as any overwrought thespian doing Hamlet.

It wasn’t until I shifted my perspective to be a bit more analog, allowing for gradients in personality expression. I was able to move beyond the 2 dimensions that had trapped me into 3 dimensions of growth (dreamsurge anyone) when I started to view myself like a faceted gem or 20 sided die. Each facet or face is one aspect of me. Each persona incorporates the facets of myself that are needed for the circumstances that trigger that persona and very few others, as that tends to impair my clarity. 

Another way to view this would be to think of classes and specializations in World of Warcraft.  I play a druid. Druids can be tanks, melee dps, ranged dps or heals - your talent build and gear change for each but you are still a druid.  It is not seen as a betrayal of your healer self to take a turn as dps.  Using the excuse that “its a betrayal of myself” anytime you are asked to moderate your behavior to fit the environment is a copout and an actual self betrayal as it frames yourself as being less than you are.  It amputates nascent parts of yourself and blocks paths of growth that take “too much effort” - keeping you small and trapped in a self limiting dance.

I remind myself every day that I am more than my anxiety can see and I am stronger than my fear compute. That all of my dreams are mine to manifest and the only way to do that is to embrace and reveal ALL my facets. Just not all at the same time.