That Time I Got Stunned by My Own Judgmental Thoughts (and Leveled Up)

Let’s talk about Projection—the Old School monster that lives in the psychological basement and wrecks your emotional DPS if left unchecked. Seriously, this one’s got stealth, splash damage, and a knack for showing up just as you're trying to have a halfway decent day.

I’m not a Freud fangirl—far from it. His work is drenched in misogyny and antiquated nonsense, and frankly, I ditched the last class that tried to make me read a full chapter on him. But I’ll admit: the guy nailed it with defense mechanisms. Especially projection. That one’s still lurking in everybody’s mental dungeon, fully geared and ready to tank your relationships.

Here’s how I learned that the hard way.

Picture me: early twenties, crossing my college campus, mentally steeped in Robert Anton Wilson’s books (because apparently I wasn’t content with just assigned readings—I had to go looking for brain upgrades). Wilson challenged readers to catch their thoughts before those thoughts took the wheel and drove their life off a cliff.

Spoiler: this is much harder than it sounds.

That day, I saw a woman with a significant weight issue, and my inner voice jumped straight into Mean Girl mode. Cruel commentary, full steam ahead. It was ugly. And then—boom—a new internal voice dropped in like a raid leader with a critical hit:

“You don’t want people thinking about you like this. So why the hell are you thinking this way about someone else?”

I froze. Full stop. Five-second stun. People behind me almost collided with my suddenly mortified self. I felt the blood drain from my face and sink into my shoes. Stars. Circling. Over. My. Head.

But here’s the thing: I’d caught it. The rogue was visible. The projection—my own harsh inner self-talk—had tried to disguise itself as righteous judgment. And I saw the link. My criticism of her was rooted in the way I treated myself.

That moment changed everything.

I started practicing replacement thoughts. I still do. Catch the thought, swap it out. It’s mental spellcasting. And it works.

So here’s the takeaway:
If you don’t get conscious about your self-talk, it will run scripts you never meant to load. Ugly ones. Limiting ones. Ones you inherited, absorbed, or patched together when you were just trying to survive.

Life coaching? That’s me helping you spot the monsters before they wipe your party. I’m your co-healer, your mindset tank, your cheerfully sarcastic raid leader through the dungeon of your own damn thoughts.

Don’t let unexamined projection keep you stuck. You’re ready to level up.