Executive Function: The Hidden Skill Tree That Wrecked My Life (Until I Found the Patch Notes)

You know how in games, there’s always that one obscure skill tree you didn’t even realize existed until halfway through the campaign? Suddenly you learn about it and think, “Oh, that would’ve made the last 100 hours WAY easier.”

That was me - except the game was real life, and the skill tree was Executive Function.

I didn’t find out I had ADHD until my 30s. By then, the lack of knowledge had already wrecked major chunks of my life. I wasn’t just failing side quests—I was wiping on the main storyline, repeatedly.

What is Executive Function?

It’s the ultimate IRL raid system - your brain’s ability to manage impulse control, time management, organization, task initiation, self-monitoring, flexibility, working memory, and planning/prioritization.

When these systems glitch? The whole game breaks. For me, adulthood felt like a Mythic raid without gear, no strategy, and no leader - because once you turn 18, YOU are the raid leader.

Let me show you what that looked like in my life:

⚔️ Impulse Control

Poor impulse control had me moving in with a boyfriend I’d known for less than six months (spoiler: terrible idea). It also led to retail therapy funded by credit cards they handed out like candy to freshman college students. That bright, shiny plastic gear? It wiped me harder than any raid boss. First bankruptcy before 25. Achievement unlocked: Financial Disaster.

⏳ Time Management

Chronically late to work. Not because I didn’t care - I was great at the actual job - but because leaving on time was like dodging fire with a five-second lag. Missed deadlines, late arrivals, eventually getting fired from jobs I actually liked. That hits harder when rent is due.

📦 Organization

My organizational system was basically RNG loot. I owned five hammers because I could never find one when I needed it. And good luck leaving the house when you can’t find your keys. Spoiler: This made my time management even worse.

🏁 Task Initiation

If a task wasn’t inherently interesting or a full-blown crisis, it didn’t exist in my world. My lawn? It attracted code enforcement. My house maintenance list? Looked like a failed quest log. Broken stair? Just skip it like a platform in Mario.

👀 Self-Monitoring

Nonexistent. I’d start organizing books and end up reading half of them. Go to pay bills and derail because I was hunting for the perfect pen. The result? Nothing got finished.

🔄 Flexibility

When plans changed, I melted down. No cooldowns, no CC immunity - just emotional wipe. I lost friendships because I couldn’t adapt.

🧠 Working Memory

My working memory had more holes than a shotgun target. Laundry forgotten until it turned into a swamp biome. Eggs boiled until the water evaporated and the shells blackened (and yep - ruined the pan). Locked my keys in the car so many times that AAA canceled my policy. That takes commitment, folks.

🗺️ Planning & Prioritization

My strategy was simple: fight whatever boss was currently on fire. Long-term goals? Forget it. Everything felt like an urgent world quest, and my anxiety meter stayed maxed out.

The Fallout

I was anxious. Depressed. Therapy didn’t help much. Prozac? Barely a dent. I read every book on metacognition I could get my hands on, and over years, I hacked together a massive toolbox of coping skills. Enough to survive. Enough to pay bills - mostly.

But I always felt like a hopelessly lazy idiot. Like I was failing at a game everyone else found easy.

Then Came the Plot Twist

Finally - finally - I got a doctor who said, “You have ADHD.” Cue the revelation: I wasn’t lazy. I wasn’t broken. I wasn’t defective.

I was a force of nature playing on hard mode with zero buffs and no add-ons.

I’d earned my MSW while maintaining a household that was more like a chaotic MMO guild hall than a home - and I did it without meds, without skills training, without support.

With the right medication? Everything changed. Suddenly the game mechanics made sense. The quest log cleared. I realized the problem wasn’t me - it was my build.

Why Women Get Missed

Women often don’t get diagnosed in childhood because ADHD in girls looks different. We mask. We internalize. We overcompensate. By adulthood, the cost of that masking becomes unbearable - and for many of us, the damage is done before anyone figures it out.

Managing the Madness: The Combo Build

Effective management isn’t a single legendary drop. It’s a hybrid build:
✅ Medication – permanent stat buff
✅ Supplements – consumables for stamina/mana
✅ Lifestyle Changes – sleep, nutrition, movement (aka core mechanics)
✅ Tech Tools – alarms, reminders, planners = your add-ons and macros

This isn’t about “fixing” yourself - it’s about giving yourself the same resources everyone else has, plus the hacks that actually work for YOUR class and spec.

The Big Takeaway

If any of this sounds like your life? You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re running an under-geared toon in a Mythic raid. With the right knowledge, tools, and support, you can turn that around.

I share what I’ve learned because I know what it’s like to wipe over and over on the same boss for years. If I can help you get the right buffs, the right build, and the right mindset? That’s my ultimate achievement.

Question for you: Which part of your executive function skill tree gives you the hardest time?

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